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  • Writer's pictureSuzanne Andrews

Ugly Betty

Dear Nita,

I want to be beautiful! Whenever I am in a crowd, no one notices me. No one remembers me even if I am there for a whole day. I feel that if I look beautiful, this will change. What can I do to make myself more beautiful? What do you recommend as medical treatment?

Ugly Betty

Nacho (good mood day)

I wear shades and feel ugly as a smelly fish sometimes too Betty. Well, I am a smelly fish.


Hi Betty,

Guess what? We all feel ugly and insignificant sometimes. You’re not alone.


In a crowd Betty, the beautiful creatures may be noticed more, but may certainly also feel just as alone. Beauty is not always as it seems. It’s all about talking and interacting and feeling part of the event. That’s what makes you feel happiest, not the beauty part.

I believe we can feel beautiful in different ways. Banter between friends; a good laugh; meeting someone with a vastly different life story; randomly chatting with a stranger with their own story…these are all ways of feeling like you matter.

Feeling you matter and contribute

I think a woman feels beautiful when she feels she matters. And that may be in the role of a daughter, a sister, a partner, a mother, a friend or as a business owner. Whatever floats your boat, or Pinky in my case!

Choose your company

You said in your letter that no-one remembers you, even if you’re there for a day. I’m wondering if you feel like that because you were in a group where you didn’t feel stimulated anyhow, or perhaps you weren’t with people with common interests. Be fussy with whom you hang out with Betty. Being with one person who lights up your day will leave you feeling you did matter and were noticed. It’s that one friend or pet or companion that matters more than any crowd.

I’ve always found what I do want after recognizing what I DON’T want. Take these feelings of rejection as a cue to help you find what you do want. It may never be socializing in a large group, but rather, getting into a new book or Netflix series; helping a charity or trying a new Meet-up just to trial a new set of people and group dynamics.

No medical treatment will solve any issue of feeling rejected. The best medicine of all is being honest with yourself and who you choose to be with, and that may well be yourself a lot of the time. The choice is yours.

‘The great challenge of life is to decide what’s important and to disregard

everything else’

Anon. age 51

From Live and Learn and Pass It On

by H.Jackson Brown, Jr.



Book : Live and Learn and Pass It On ( H.Jackson Brown.Jr. )

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