Dear Nita,
I recently went on two dates with a great guy with potential. Yes, I'm fussy these days. The only thing is that the KISS wasn't smooth, in fact quite the opposite. I think he was ready to run over a bus!
It's supposed to feel like BUTTER, not bread, despite his best intentions.
I'm a firm believer that kissing is everything and am not sure whether to push through to a third date and somehow ask him to slow down. I'm a slow twitcher: I like slow and easy sensual kisses.
Aside from the kissing I mostly feel connected to him.
HELP!
Kissappointed
Nita
Hi there Kissappointed,
I'm mostly with you on this - if the kiss is a winner I'm like, 'Oh yeah!' It's the ultimate truth detector. Kissing is intimate, it says all without even speaking. Kissing is just as (if not more) important as other stuff. But then I haven't given any bad kisser another chance!
From my unofficial survey amongst friends, it seems some partners don't kiss the way you like it at first, but they can be trained! Maybe give him a chance with one more date?
Then things get tricky as you don't want to bruise his male ego by being critical. Men are more sensitive than you realise. They sure as heck don't want to get it wrong - they feel they've failed you. They want to please.
How about this for an approach:
'Okay, honey let's play my kissing game. I'm going to kiss you long and hard and when I'm finished, I want you to tell me what my kiss was saying. I'm going to love doing it, so relax.
I want you to try not to kiss me back and just close your eyes and leave it with me!'
Then kiss them on the lips and go wild neck up, anywhere you like. It's the soft, slow rhythm
you're communicating. Here's hoping he may just realise that you kiss differently and he might need to adapt?
If your partner kisses you back hard and fast, that's the time to say nicely that you'd prefer to
try it slow and easy unless of course in times of total driving passion!
If there's no change, I'd move on and enjoy the lips of a new partner. Kissing is supposed to be magical.
You've got this!
Nita