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  • Writer's pictureSuzanne Andrews

Men a pause ?

Dear Nita,

All these years I’ve been looking forward to the menopause. But your letters page has got me confused!

Now my eggs have done their fertile best and the kids have flown the family nest, I thought the menopause was the time in life to give the men a pause and go off on some new adventure. I don’t want to get all dressed up for their sake!

I want to live on an island and write a book and when it becomes a bestseller to go off like you and sail around the world. I admit that without all that estrogen I might not have the guts, but then there are those fleets of gorgeous cruise liners that are giving huge discounts right now.

What should I do? Get a new wardrobe or find that island retreat?

Please help!




Interested in a fish date? Happy to meet if you choose the island option.



Celine, so lovely to hear from you!

I love your upbeat letter. It really does make my day out here in the ocean with just Nacho on the boat with me most days. He’s a good friend but female to female, a lot of what I say goes over his fish head.

If there’s one thing in life we have, it is CHOICE! Seems to me you’ve made that choice: you want to escape and have an adventure more than get dressed up for men. But then you can get dressed up for YOU.

Dressing up or island retreat?

I say do BOTH! Buy a new outfit AND have an adventure. Wear khaki pants and look like Kathleen Turner in Romancing the Stone if you wish, but do have the one dress or pants suit in the bag for when you feel like lighting a candle and sipping some wine or dancing on a rooftop in the rain.

As for what to wear, do it your way. I’m always inspired by Taylor Swift. One day she’s in vintage collared dresses and the next in a bowler hat or all glammed up on stage. Her songs and videos are remarkable. She’s one fascinating woman.

Courtesy of The TrendSpotter

Jennifer Anniston is also one of my faves. Often dressed in plain colours and totally comfortable in monochrome trouser suits with slightly flared pants, she’s got a charming way of being. Her signature blazer with straight jeans, often in the same colour, is also super cool.

Sure, having hair like that helps!

Courtesy of woman&home

When it comes to dressing for that cruise or island get-away, a couple of loose, long summer dresses to flow with the breezes will go down a treat. And don’t forget the HAT!

Courtesy of Pinterest

Men a pause?

I’m a big believer in trusting the Must ( that whisper, that urge inside ). The way I see this, why waste all those liberating, wise and wonderful years ahead of you as a mature woman, ignoring all those swimmingly macho men out there? Men a pause for the singles – absolutely NOT! DO NOT put men on pause! Love wants you as much as you want love!

Now since you didn’t say if you’re single, dating or attached, if you do have someone special in your life, he can certainly be put on pause while you just have a jolly good time doing the things YOU want to do, without concessions. A break away is as good as a new romance once you’re with one another again. Absence definitely does make that heart grow fonder.

I say go on that cruise girlfriend! Take advantage of those deals. Ask some of your mates to go with you. Nothing in the world beats a bunch of women talking ‘women-speakeasy’. I’ve been reading this book, Why Men Don’t Listen and Women Can’t Read Maps. Instead of being accused of talking too much AND nagging, you can jolly well ‘yabber dabber do it’ honey

(I’ve always loved Wilma and Betty in The Flintstones)!

Anyhow, according to this brilliant book, women use a daily quota of around 20,000 communication ‘words’( vocal sounds and body language signals included ), while men utter just 7,000 or so. BORING! Go talk your tongue off!

‘Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all’

Helen Keller

Have a blast!



Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps - Allan and Barbara Pease

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